BULLSH*T

Here are just a few side effects of chemotherapy that stick out in my head:
Nausea, vomitting, HAIR LOSS, HAIR LOSS, HAIR LOSS, constipation, diareha, WEIGHT GAIN, WEIGHT GAIN, loss of appetite, Fatigue, mouth sores, did I mention hair loss and weight gain - (yet you feel like crap and dont want to eat anything...ya think this would be my chance to lose 30lbs!!) now some chemo meds make you pee red, then theres the fact that it throws you basically into a menopausal state, and you probably aren't able to have kids anymore after this...( not that I was planning on it, but I wasnt officially decided and I would prefer to MAKE the decision, not have it made for me.) oh and dont forget that 80% of women report increase in mood swings..I have enough of that already on my own..so sorry to everyone in advance for that one!...oh and they have said that often when yir hair grows back it grows back more gray and curly...R U F*** IN KIDDING ME????
So I would like to share that I AM NOT HAPPY today about this......it makes me want to cry something fierce and then it also PISSES ME OFF at the same time AND say F U chemo and prove that it wont happen to me...Here's the problem..most of it will...and again..the UNKNOWN..who knows
Oh and just one other thing I would like to complain about ( not that I am trying to be a complainer..cause I also keep telling myself it could be worse..and I do know that)but I feel like complaining today...so im gonna...its not really my thing but again..today I feel like it..I had cancer in me..who knows how long it was there for..I was fine..I felt fine....now they have removed it, its gone..it hasnt spread, I have various scans of other body parts to make sure...I feel fine, I am fine, I am not sick, I am not tired, i have all my hair, I have no cancer.....YET NOW I am about to FEEL the worst I have ever felt in my life..or at least the possibility is quite strong that I will.....and I FEEL FINE, I am FINE...I know, I know there could always be that stray microscpic cell floating around and that would suck if they didnt get it...BUT I AM FINE...and even if they do this chemo....it can always come back or I could get a new cancer tomorrow, ya never know and theres no guarentees there is just reduced chances...after all the crap I have been through in my 34 yrs ya think that would have been enough....apparently not....
OK..well getting all that off my chest made me feel just a tiny little bit better, not enough..but a tiny bit...STILL BULLSH*T...